This is not the actual begining of my antics. Those started the day I was born but that is a story for another time. What started this particular antic, is that I went on a job and fell. Upon telling my friends and family of this latest calamity, my friend, I shall call her "Sea" suggested I start a blog of my antics. Why would one fall necesitate a blog? All shall be revealed! Come join us on a weird, wacky, mundane, harrowing, funny journey through life! Did I over sell it? I'm not really selling it, it's free! Warning, blog may, probably will, contain adult language and topics. If you are easily offended, you should never be in my company! Also, if you find any grammar, typing, or spelling errors, feel free to keep them! From me, to you, absolutely NO charge!

Who the heck IS Annie? 

As of this writing, I am 51, disabled, I have raging ADHD, my memory is nearly nonexistant, I have a laundry list of physical as well as mental ailments, and people find me humorous. I know a lot of people will say, "51 isn't that old," but my orthopedist told me! "You have the skeleton of a very old person!" I live with my older brother, one niece, and five nephews. I craft, I write, I love to make people laugh, I love littles (babies and children), and animals! Have I made a living from ANY of my talents? Enough about who I am, let's get into some antics!

Why this blog?  

As I said, I'm disabled but I have a jNwith the help of my wheeled walker and my boyfriend. I go to different locations to take pictures and measurements of damages or property for a variety of clients, mostly for insurance. I only take jobs near me, worth the money, or when Mother Nature isn't trying to turn us all into ice sculptures! It was warm enough to turn the snow to slush, I didn't have my walker, and my back was feeling it. The on site contact warned me, he had some slick plastic around his bike and where Annie was careful to watch her footing previously, I was in severe pain and wanted to get my job done. No longer any other concern but the finish line, I skated for an impressive few seconds on that slush covered plastic that I previously side stepped! I did go down but as far as falls go this was nothing. Side bar, did anyone else think, "that's what she said" when I said "I did go down" Anyway, I don't let people help me up because I don't want them to get pulled down. I got myself up, finished my job, and left covered in snow and mud. This was but a mild inconvenience as no injury was sustained THIS time.

But wait didn't you just...?

Why, yes I did! Two days before I fell at work, I woke up, as one is want to do. My bladder had its usual "me first" attitude! At my age, I know better than to make it wait, I've had to change once too often. So off to the races we go! *OUCH* a curse word is ever so eloquently hurled from my barely awake face hole! I must have stepped on something, no time to stop, we have a bladder to evacuate people! I perch upon my thrown, and I notice two small pools of blood on the latrine floor. OK, let's stop right here, in my defense I JUST WOKE UP! OK, so, I would love to say my first thought was "Oh no I'm bleeding" but no, my first thought was "How did my brother hurt himself this time?" I finish up, go back to my room, sit on the edge of my bed, and notice two slightly bigger puddles of blood. Well, I guess I can't blame it on anyone else now! I can not reach or see my right foot where the wound is, I grab my cell and call my nephew in the next room, my right hand man (we'll call him Jay)! He looked at it, thought "this is above my pay grade" and left to get his cousin, we'll call her Ivy. I'm only ever going to be using my real name and to add more confusion, I have no memory, I'm almost positive I'll forget the alliases and who is supposed to be whom! So as I'm waiting I realize we've done nothing to stop the bleeding and I'm on blood thinners. I grab a few tissues and apply pressure as best I can for what I can reach of the area. I pull the tissues away as Jay returns with Ivy and he plethora of first aid supplies, and see a clot already forming! Just between you and me, I think I have mud in my veins. They warn you about bleeding out when on blood thinners but I can barely bleed for finger sticks. Back to the story, to cut a long story short, it is not too late! I was barely bleeding, Ivy cleaned the wound with alcohol and slapped a bandaid on it. She said, "if it bleeds through, go to the ER!" It didn't, so I didn't! I went to the doctor two days later for an ER visit days earlier (don't worry about it) and turns out I needed stitches but it was too late. FYI: per my doctor, get your stitches within the first 12 hours of injury!

Moral of the blog.

If you did not find anything amusing don't give up on me yet! It's hard to make personal injury hilarious, unless it's befalling an enemy. I'm kidding, don't wish harm on others, leave them to Karma! The real reason for the blog and the point my friend was trying to make, was there is always something going on and it's not all injury related. I have a unique outlook on life, I've been through some stuff, and I'm willing to share it for the never before seen price of zilch! Pay on your way out!